“It’s Christmas time, there’s no need to be afraid…”
as Paul Young once sang. It’s true there are lots of things to be afraid of at
the moment, or at least worried about. So much negativity, mediocrity, anger
and hysteria Etc. so we probably need Christmas more than ever. Christmas,
ideally in the Christian sense of peace, love and compassion or at least those
great Crimbo songs from the 1970's. What we're more likely to get, however is
people dressing in ridiculous costumes - one guy I saw, seemed to be dressed up
in a baby suit covered in baubles and tinsel - people getting drunk at office
parties, tacky light displays outside our houses, offending the eyes of anyone
with a modicum of aesthetic judgement and the usual tasteless circus that is
modern Christmas. We can also go to a carol concert or we could help feed
homeless people. Good, spiritual things happen at Christmas too. I don’t tend
to do either of these two things, though I wish I did. Point is, we have a
choice. I often feel guilty at being a bit self-indulgent and lazy at this time
of year, rather than helping my fellow man. At least I don’t offend my
neighbours and contribute to global warming with a flashing reindeer outside
the house.
I can think of many reasons for which I’d like to have
a time machine. One would be to travel to mid 17th century England
and bring back a Puritan type to see what they made of modern Christmas. I fear
the horror might be too much for them. You see, the Puritans (Oliver Cromwell et al, today’s equivalent of the DUP or Daily Mail
readers minus the boozing and wife-swapping) banned Christmas, or rather the
celebrating of Christmas. They felt it would be much better to spend time in
quiet contemplation, praying for the salvation of one’s soul, being, as we are
human, prone to sinfulness. What a bunch of killjoys. They did the same in
Scotland, even earlier. “Dreary pricks” as Billy Connolly once described them.
The banning of revelry had other reasons too. The Puritans, not being too keen
on Catholics, also wanted to erase any evidence of Catholicism’s existence.
Mass etc., hence Christ-mas, so it was partly political but also, clearly,
because they were “dreary pricks”.
When Cromwell died and England decided they didn’t
like him after all, they invited the Catholic monarch, Charles the 2nd,
whose father’s head they had chopped off, to take the throne. Can never quite
make their minds up, the English.
Charlie boy, grandson of James the Sixth of Scotland and First of
England, for whom the term “party animal” was probably invented, quickly shook
things up. Partying and producing illegitimate children left right and centre,
he took a salacious revenge on those fun-hating puritans and of course laughter
at Christmas was re-instated. Quite what he would have made of modern
Christmas, who knows, but I suspect he wouldn’t ban it, except perhaps the
playing of Christmas music in shops in October. Well that’s what I would do…And
if it came down to choosing between a puritan Christmas and today’s then fetch
me a Reindeer hat and a baby suit covered in tinsel anytime. On second
thought…In any case, I feel grateful for the agony of choice.
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